I'll be honest, Elizabeth is an online friend of mine so I'm a little biased but I've always respected her opinion where it came to my work and even where personal matters were concerned a couple of times.That's why, when she started publicly writing a short story online at http://mockslushpile.blogspot.com/ I had to check it out. It's true, it took me forever to get around to it, but I finally took an hour to read The River, a short urban fantasy piece that I liked quite a bit as it turns out.
Here's my comment on The River:
"I just finished reading it and I have to say I honestly enjoyed the experience. It's a good short journey well suited to short story telling and perhaps an episodic style if you plan on writing more.
The texture and description in this piece is well balanced with the acts and plot pacing and the story is compelling. Your characters are coming to life here, and the style of dialog adds to the distinctive flair each brings to the story.
It's hard to find anything seriously wrong with what I've seen, if anything you might have the same problem I did with commas, a few too many, but I understand the need for an occasional indication of dramatic pause.
If this is a story you want to continue in some way I think you have the start of the necessary mythology you'd need to do it well.
If there's more, I'll be reading it.
Favorite character this time around: Gabriella"
Honest truth, I suggest this for anyone whose into Urban Fantasy, a genre seeing a lot of attention these days. It's a funny thing, but I bought Twilight over a month ago and have barely gotten past chapter 4, but if I had four hundred pages of what Elizabeth is doing I'd probably want four hundred more.
RL
Go take a look http://mockslushpile.blogspot.com/ and leave a comment when you're finished.
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